As this last week’s number of startling developments failed to match that of the previous one, this ought to be a slimmer post. We’ll see whether this is how it proves, or whether some new neurosis screams for an airing.
It has been seven days of familiarisation and consolidation. I haven’t been promised a cover spot in ‘Whisky Magazine’, I haven’t received an endorsement from Charles MacLean, and I haven’t been abducted by The Macallan and whisked up to Craigellachie so that they might give me a lavish grounding in their ethos ahead of my arrival next month. I have been cycling, though. Since my last post I have spun through more than 100 miles and feel jolly happy about it. My bottom, however, has taken offence somewhat, so I have started on the soothing, salutary creams.
Wednesday’s weather and record distance in a single day resulted in a profound sense of achievement. The warm, clear sunshine made pedalling twice round my 18-mile circuit a true delight. However, its perfection came packaged up with a strong feeling of guilt and foreboding: this can’t last, it has to rain eventually and will it ever stop when it does; gales will blow unremittingly and chill me to the marrow, I know it. Then then we’ll see if whisky is a strong enough obsession to carry me through. I was, therefore, perhaps oddly keen for it to pelt it down and gust ferociously around so I could test my mettle. I should have been careful what I wished for.
Things took a grim turn on Friday, a stiff breeze scoring the underbellies of some fat, juicy clouds. Of course I had forgotten to put my waterproof overtrousers in my panniers, although fortunately it was a passing shower and the rest of the ride was a dry one.
Yesterday, whilst dry, took the wind idea and ran with it. I woke up in the semi-dark and could hear a lot of air moving very quickly over the field outside. On opening the curtains, I saw the horse huddling behind the barn and trees being buffeted in groaning arcs of branches and needles. They weren’t really ideal conditions for a proposed 43 miles. But I won’t have any choice in four weeks’ time, so I gave myself none on this occasion. After running some key errands, and giving the weather maybe a bit more time to calm down (it didn’t), I togged up and went out. It was pretty hairy in places and while the panniers planted the rear wheel to the road, pushing through merciless side winds was exhausting for the arms as I fought with the front end of the bike. The headwinds were quite something, though. Early on in my first stint, the road forsook the protection afforded by a small village, made a sharp left turn and suddenly my surroundings were very open farmland. Incredibly, I had to change down into the small chainring, reduced to barely more than 8 mph on the flat! It was similar agony again when I returned to the coast line 5 miles further on. However, on those same stretches during my second, reverse loop, I was freewheeling merrily at 22 mph. I completed my 43 miles; just. A huge plate of pasta and a couple of hours of indifferent TV alleviated the worst of the shellshock.
But to return to those errands, because they really were very significant indeed. The first set of them saw me return to the station where I bought my railcard, train tickets for my Wick to Kyle of Lochalsh transfer stage (I leave Wick at 6:20AM and arrive in the Kyle just after 1:20PM, still with 40 miles of riding before I bed down on Skye), and reserved a space on the Cross Country service to Edinburgh on the 29th of March. I’m doing a reconnaissance mission! I’m getting into Edinburgh Waverley at the same time as I will a fortnight later, cycling the route to Glenkinchie and seeing if I can make it back to the station in time for my train to Stirling, a fictitious connection on this trial run. I need to overcome the stress of urban cycling and memorise with the aid of landmarks the minor roads I need to find to draw me out of the city. I also need to learn in what condition my beloved machine is to be stashed on the train and just how watchful of my fellow passengers I must be. Not that there is any chance of a quick getaway so heavy and ungainly is it with the panniers attached. The aim is to purge as much fear and anxiety ahead of time so I am as cool as the proverbial cucumber when I come to do it for real and don’t require urgent medical attention and sedation on the platform. Or lock myself in the Stirling youth hostel toilet and refuse to come out for six weeks. Luckily I’m a one-hour train ride from Edinburgh to make such an exercise possible.
Security is a big concern of mine, naturally enough. As, for the purposes of saving weight, I shall only be carrying the essentials, I cannot afford for anything to be pilfered. Should anything, from the bike downwards, undergo a change of ownership, I shall be royally, inter-galactically screwed. So I visited the guys at Breeze Bikes and bought a big, heavy lock, the operation of which I should probably factor in to my timetable, knowing as I do the state of obsessive compulsive paranoia I shall be in whenever I must leave the bike unattended. “I did lock it, didn’t I?” will become a tiresome refrain.
I’m sure I will adapt – I’ll have to – and my myriad anxieties will be silenced by the necessities of reality. There is only so much I can do. The rest I must simply condition myself not to worry about. It is the same with road safety. I may be big and very yellow, but there is the chance I may come a cropper due to someone’s undue haste, carelessness or simple bad luck. I can’t concern myself overly. I certainly can’t allow it to become inhibitive. Cycling to Scotland’s distilleries means cycling on the road. There’s just no way around that.

The may have been expensive, they may be bulky, but they are vital - and also quite inspiring.
Those are my fears, then. Keeping them in perspective and proportion, though, is the mounting anticipation. At last I can visualise undertaking this journey, and great visual aids are my maps. £100-worth of maps… It’s supposed to be a small country! I’m still waiting on a couple, but on these charts I can plot each stage, see on paper the roads I’ll be taking, the ever-shrinking settlements I’m to pass through and the precise location of the distilleries themselves. Very auspicious is Map 28, ‘Elgin & Dufftown’ which gives up marking each individual one and simply records: “Distilleries”. In my more vivid daydreams I can imagine my Sunday ride in Dufftown, a rest-day of sorts, when I shall be touring the town and its forest of pagodas.
I had to atone for my poor total of tastings the week before last so I have four sets of notes for you now. I retasted the Talisker 18-year-old and to say I was blown away is just the kind of glib, vile cliche that should be eradicated from our language. But I can’t express it any differently. It was truly extraordinary and, in the context of my personal rating system, I’m not sure many will be able to best its score. Having been slightly underwhelmed when I tasted it last year, preferring the more insistent, volcanic power of the younger sibling, I can now lend my support to the decision which deemd this the best malt in the world. I shall share the particulars of my scoring system with you after I return from this odyssey, for technically only then with my bank of sensory and spiritual experiences can it operate at its full potential.
The Glenmorangie Quinta Ruban was awesome, too. I’m acquiring a taste for this Tain whisky, it would seem, for my third attempt at seeing what all the fuss was about regarding The Original largely paid off. You couldn’t ask for a better example of how to tastefully finish a malt.
The Dalmore impressed as much as it did when I first sampled it in late 2008, although it hasn’t quite the same poise and complexity of the 15-year-old.
To finish, I’d like to stress how much I enjoyed the Glen Deveron. I picked up the mini at the Aberfeldy distillery last autumn and I was struck by its beautiful balance, quiet complexity and deft interchanges of Speyside and Highland

My week's work.
characters, an appreciated strong allusion to its location on the border of these two regions.
Talisker 18-year-old 45.8% (See ‘Most Hotly-Awaited’)
Colour: Glowing, profound amber and gold.
Nose: (FS) Extremely complex maltiness, both in flavour and body. It is firm and smooth but in places light and ethereal, falling away into sea cliff floral and salt notes. A very rich, fragrant and dry peat fire: burning for an eternity of so it seems. Full rich sweetness of honey but also darkly rich seaweed. (WW) Sweetly smokier with extra sweetness from the rich honey and smooth seaweed. An intense burning together with some some syrupy fruitiness. Sublime richness and balance: salt crystals and light resinous oak. Bewitching mature smoothness together with gentle spice. Ashy smokiness of a garden fire.
Palate: Full and grainy with a sliver of seaweedy/woody sweetness then impossibly rich, mouthfilling peat. Biscuity, heavy malt and dark honey. So satsifying.
Finish: Dark, rich and awesomely long. Sweet vanilla oak with a sooty, rounded maltiness. Clouds of black pepper. Exquisite delicacy and very moreish.
Glen Deveron 10-year-old 40%
Colour: Smooth and bright amber with old gold highlights.
Nose: (FS) Soft, medium to full with gentle Sherry influence and some light smoke. Rich and quite solid biscuity graininess with helpings of caramel toffee. Gentle and earthy spice. (WW) A little peatier with deep honeyed fruit. Victoria sponge. Barley sugar. Not-too-sweet melted chocolate. Fresh and complex in the least taxing of senses.
Palate: Malty, lightly peaty and very very firm. Sustained spice. Dark chocolate in taste and texture.
Finish: Deeper oak flavours: chocolate with subtle, enticing Sherry fruit and nut. Clean with well-defined and deliciously rich malt.
The Dalmore 12-year-old 43% (See ‘Most Hotly-Awaited’)
Colour: Intense deep orange with touches of greeny gold.
Nose: (FS) A real presence of heat contributed by rich and intense Sherry oak and earthy peat. Green, rich malt. Lots of orange with a contrast in textures between orange cream and candied orange. Zesty and nutty. (WW) Firm dried fruitiness and gentle smooth toffee. Heather tickles the nose. Seriously deep honey and lightly-toasted oak. Sugary marmalade and orange concentrate. Deliciously soft and oppulent with fragments of burning sweet peatiness and chocolate.
Palate: Rich, firm, lots of spicy gripping oak and very peaty. Orange and smooth coffee.
Finish: Orange Chewits. Soft with some Italian coffee for yet more richness. Fresh, leafy and oily oak over which the Sherry is a moist, nutty veil.
Glenmorangie Quinta Ruban 46%
Colour: Clean and pale amber with a pink rosy tinge and copper red veins.
Nose: (FS) Dry but rich heat; possibly, in its spicy, dark fruit overtones, the Port caves themselves. Very smooth with heavy, voluptuous vanilla wood. Some honeyed, delicate malt emerges as does a round citrus note. Very clean and even floral notes. Excellent soft sweetness with all the complexity of an ice cream sundae. Smooth dryness. Extraordinarily complete integration of wine flavours. Still a Glenmo, though. (WW) Deeper and even softer. Cherry and dark chocolate. Very firm wood with lots of warming spice. The Port influence exerted is breathtaking. Exquisite caramel toffee. Blooming, gripping saltiness.
Palate: Vibrant, warming and very spicy. Dry but also rounded and rich. Lots of cooked fruits. Sweet earth and oak lend fabulous firmness. Barley sugar sweetness.
Finish: Excellent smoothness and richness with echoes of fruit and caramel. Floral/grassy. Long and delicate. Creamy vanilla and dark honey.